But What About ME?

Do for One
What You Wish You Could Do for All

We’ve all heard the famous words “‘Tis better to give than to receive.” But
how can we help our children to actually experience this? When we tell our son
to share with his sister, we can see it isn’t usually out of altruism. When we sign
up for the school supply drive or holiday toy donations, usually Mom or Dad foot
the bill for the donated items. If we really want our family to reap the rewards of
service, we are going to have to put on our work gloves and lead by example.

Psychology Today offers scientific evidence for the benefits of altruism. Of
course we all want to feel happier, less depressed, and better able to regulate
our own emotions. Serving others is a great way to grow in these areas.
Depending on the age of your children, there are so many great opportunities to
lend a hand. Some research and a few phone calls will land you the volunteer
opportunity of your dreams, and bond your family in unique way.

Start with the questions, “What breaks your heart?” or “If you could change
one thing in our community, what would it be?” Family dinner discussions around
these topics will start to peel back the layers of your family onion, where your
hearts meet and will have a chance to make a difference.

Homelessness is often something young children see that they don't
understand but want to help. Different shelters have age requirements, but even
young children can come with parents to sort clothing or toys for distribution. If
your children are too young to volunteer in person, they could go with you to
collect toys and clothes from neighbors to donate. Either way, they are seeing
the tangible results of wanting to help someone else. Food banks often need
people to sort food and pack boxes. Or a thrift shop that donates proceeds back
to a local non-profit may love for you to help organize and arrange clothing and
other items.

Older children and teens may have more opportunities to come alongside
those who are in need. Whether volunteering to tutor or just do homework
together at a shelter or after-school program, teens can learn much about other
cultures and socio-economic backgrounds as they make friends with kids their
own age who need a helping hand. Be sure to confirm with an organization their

age limitations and whether or not a parent needs to be present for a teen to
volunteer.

The ultimate family volunteering opportunities can be experienced in a
weeklong mission trip or project. Organizations like Blue Skies Ministries, which
puts on camps for families who have a child with cancer, encourage families to
volunteer together. While the parents help with cooking and cleaning up and
organizing activities, the kids’ job is to play with the other kids. They are
rewarded for their “hard work” with new friendships and the gratefulness and
empathy that comes from experiencing life in someone else’s shoes. Browse the
internet for camps around you that cater to children with disabilities, diseases, or
are trying to give urban kids a chance to be in the woods for a week. These
organizations appreciate families who are willing to roll up their sleeves and dive
into a week of service.

If you have a child involved in Scouting, there are lots of service opportunities
through your local troop. Churches are another excellent resource for good ways
to serve as a family. If you have a heart for the elderly, how about setting up a
time to stop by the closest nursing home and play an instrument or read books
out loud with the residents? If you love the environment, organize a family or
neighborhood group to pick up trash in a park or public space that needs some
love. Chances to do good are all around you. Pick what best suits your family
and find a way to give back. You might find that you are the one who reaps some
of the rewards.

Source: Pogosyan, Marianna, “In Helping Others, You Help Yourself
The benefits of social regulation of emotion.”